transcript
A meme saying: “STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE”
- Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
- C is a LETTER, not a language
- Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
- “I’m writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%” THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE
Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)
- FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
- 178 COMPILATION ERRORS??? (with a picture of compilation errors
- A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN’T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.
IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING
while(true{print(money);}
end transcript.
What is “a 0.02%”?
So saith corporal Ludd
Where is “they’ve played us for absolute fools”
Appreciate the alt text
Ah yes, let’s forget that that image is created on a computer
No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.
Thank you for your service
Science? There’s science behind the clusterfuck we call software nowadays?
Yes, it’s just buried under crap and and redundant copies of itself. And possibly still written in Fortran.
I think it’s only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn’t an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do … On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It’s not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm… I’ll check the app store.
Yep, 1990-2010 was kind of the golden age for learning computers on the fly. They were too rare and inaccessible before, and they’re too polished and sandboxed now.
while 1 print money
Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.
Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.
I mean, the entirety of Steam’s code could maybe be described as an obfuscated version of
while(true){ print(money); }
Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.
=P
Why are you trying to write python? Just get one from the pet shop!
I get my Java from a local coffee shop
Rust is even easier, you probably have some you aren’t even using. Check in the bikeshed.
Why are you writing Rust? Do you want to get tetanus?
A client with s very low budget wanted a solution for their filing. We suggested they could get more bang for their bucks with preprinted paper forms, pens and a cabinet than going for software. They were not amused.
and if they want to go fancy and cheap, suggest excel.
Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage
Removing spinlocks on IO by using async event handling can reduce cpu usage
Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.
Maybe if the threads pause a lot, and pause even more as the stack unwinds to the final exciting conclusion.
I suppose that’s true. And also deranged to do it on purpose
I just tell people that I am a “professional button pusher”
Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.
That’s what diffs a professional button pusher from an amateur button pusher.
When you know which buttons in which order get you money, you become a professional.
I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:
In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers “you aren’t paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press”.
using threads to reduce cpu usage ? in what world ? if you can parallelize tasks you will always increase the workload done.
they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious “0.02%” situation in order to get the results faster
What’s the teapot?
Almost certainly HTTP 418:
https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/418
HTTP 418
It’s a device to brew tea in.
It’s a fake teapot, you can’t brew tea in it
Ceci n’est pas une
pipeteapot.
Developer here: can confirm. (#4 is actually true.)
Indeed, anytime I optimize code, it ends up taking more CPU to run.
Isn’t that what you’re optimising? Trying to reduce runtime by increasing CPU load
If that’s a genuine non-sarcastic question that isn’t whooshing me then no - there can be other things like memory/disk usage… but if I’m optimizing for CPU I want it to use less overall cycles. It may be that the easiest fix is to throw money at the problem (always a fair option) which would mean getting a beefier/more processor cores to make the performance acceptable but this would usually just shift how cycles are being used to process them faster.
My joke above was that it’d use more total cycles which actually is generally the case if you’re solving a problem by throwing resources at it (since you’re likely incurring more overhead) but generally when you optimize you want to reduce the total number of cycles by somehow locating and eliminating work that doesn’t need to be done.
It was genuine, in my workplace the only optimisation is for run time
Ah right on, that’s a fun and difficult thing to optimize for!
I once made a multithreaded code for an embedded device.
Tested it on my development Desktop PC and it used all 4 cores.Running it on the target device, all threads ran on the same core because it was too powerful for Linux to feel the need to use multiple cores.
