Over the years I’ve had a bunch of different gentle alarm sounds. Most of them were nature sounds I edited myself. For example, once I had an owl sound that started from zero volume, but ramped up very gradually.

However, now that I use an iPhone, it hasn’t been very easy to do that. Making a custom ringtone is just stupidly convoluted, and making a custom alarm seems to be completely impossible. I need to look into that, because I really miss my great alarm sounds. The default sounds are all trash.

Fine is the right term for this. The alarm clocks were not great, not terrible. They were just fine.

You couldn’t adjust the sound volume or the sound they make. In the later years of alarm clocks, you did have some fancy lamp-radio-alarm-hybrid devices that did have some settings. However, they were woefully inadequate for my needs, so I was stuck with a solution that was nothing more than fine.

Enter mobile phones and their ability to play any mp3 file. My life changed! I made a custom sound that starts gently instead of jumping straight to the RUN OR DIE -stage we’ve sadly grown accustomed to in the past decades. IMO a mobile phone alarm is orders of magnitude superior to any alarm clock I’ve ever seen.

But are they really conspiracy theories at that point? If the government really is doing something bad secretly, and you’re trying to uncover the truth, then you’re just doing investigative journalism.

On the other hand, you’re also the dissident rebel who is trying to overthrow the government… oh that means you’re actively participating in a conspiracy against the government. If people have theories about your activities, they are the conspiracy theorists in this case.

Are you supposed to stick this gun in your mouth and pull the trigger?

Sending some pretty interesting messages to kids…