A girl from a religious family in a rural community that was home-schooled until starting at a strict Catholic school in 6th grade and has not looked at porn…yeah, she had no idea what sex is or that what her 3-years-older-than-her boyfriend wanted was actually sex.

It’s hard to have that conversation with a 17 year old who just gave birth to their second child. There’s children out here having children because we have fuckall for sex ed in this country and human instincts and desires aren’t going to go away. I have met pregnant teenagers that knew that sex before marriage was bad and would send them to hell, and that sex is where babies come from…but didn’t know that “sex” is when “he puts his thing into me where I pee from down there” because no one ever explained to her what sex actually is.

Kids are a really big commitment in a different way because of the psychological and cognitive needs of the child, and it would be a lot better for the kiddos if the parents have their spoons together before the kid arrives. It can be very chaotic and damaging for the child if the parent is getting their stuff together during the developmental periods. This especially goes for pregnancy because mental illness and substance use during pregnancy can seriously affect fetal development in some cases and it can even lead to miscarriage or stillbirth if things aren’t sorted out fast enough.

So, maybe having kids might be more viable for fathers, but it’s still not a great idea because disengaged fathers can be damaging to both the baby and the mother.