Don’t worry. It’s just satire.

Edit: well maybe worry, but not for this specific article.

He was known as Maud’dib. And while Paul could see the future he was not a Christ figure, but a tyrant and genocidal religious leader.

Yeah I’d be suspicious of that too.

I mostly just give a brief rundown of where I’m from, my majors in college, that I met my wife in college, and a blurb about my pets and kids. Oh and usually something vague about my job as well.

On the flip side: I have my sad tragic backstory down to a science. I can blow through it in like 3 sentences because I get asked so flipping often about how much I make ubering, how long I’ve been ubering, my marital status and my 4 different majors in college (I live near a college town, so this comes up often once they discover I’m an alum).

I drive for uber and I always just wait until someone talks to me first.

Otherwise I have my playlist on and we can just vibe.